I sat down with Tyler Oakley, one of the most recognizable faces of the screen generation, to talk about sexuality, consent, dating apps, and the importance of safe spaces. The profile was featured as the cover story for Mediaplanet's 2018 "Sexual Wellness" issue, distributed with USA Today and at Los Angeles Pride.

Tyler Oakley photographed by Matthew Schueller

From challenging problematic politicians to losing his virginity, there aren't many topics Tyler Oakley is afraid to tackle.

"When I think about what I find most entertaining, it's often the things that make us the most uncomfortable," he shares. "For me, talking about the uncomfortable things has been so rewarding. I think people can really connect with me when I'm being my most vulnerable."

Since uploading his first YouTube video in 2007 while a freshman at Michigan State University, his channel has earned over 650 million views and nearly 8 million subscribers. Today, Oakley uses his voice to advocate for LGBTQ+ youth and social issues, including healthcare, suicide prevention, and the importance of sex education.

Education and stigma

New research shows that more than 20% of adults are not planning to have a conversation about the birds and the bees with their kids.

"Hopefully I can do my part in offsetting that stigma," Oakley states. "When it comes to sex and sexuality, I think a lot of people feel like it's something we can't touch. I've never felt that shame, so I lean into it. It's something that's part of everyday life, so why not include it in the [public] diary that I have?"

Oakley grew up in a small town in the Midwest and used the internet to learn about his sexual identity.

"Being gay, my formal sexual education never included my kind of intimacy or sex, so I turned to the internet," he recalls. He's not alone. Currently, only 12 states require discussion of sexual orientation in sex education. The other states leave the matter up to individual districts.

"That said, the difference between what I was Googling in 2000 and what's available on the internet now is mind-blowing," he laughs.

The internet has transformed not only how we access information but also how we date and meet new people. Three in ten U.S. adults say they have used a dating site or app, and a significant percentage of these users are young adults between 18 and 24.

“Taking care of yourself should always be your top priority. At the end of the day, it’s about having open and honest conversations.”

"There are a lot of opinions about [apps like] Grindr and Tinder, but I find them all to be great inventions," Oakley says. "Giving people an opportunity to connect in meaningful ways where they couldn't have before can only be a good thing, especially in communities like the LGBTQ+ community that have been historically condemned for expressing love and intimacy."

Searching for safe space

He continues to explain how, for some users, dating apps provide more than convenience.

"Safe spaces have always been a necessity for some communities in ways that cisgender or heterosexual people never had to think about. Not everyone can go to a bar, walk up to someone, and start a conversation in a non-platonic way. For many people, that situation comes with danger."

While he hopes his honesty and humor help viewers feel empowered, Oakley acknowledges that when it comes to sexuality and self-discovery, one size does not fit all.

"You're on your own journey," he urges. “As long as you treat people with kindness and, if you are intimate with others, you're honest in a way that protects both of you, your level of disclosure is up to you."

His advice for his fans still discovering their own identities? Go at your own pace.

"Taking care of yourself should always be your top priority. For some people, it might mean taking your time and not feeling rushed to identify one way or to perform certain acts. At the end of the day, it's about having open and honest conversations."

Swiping Right with Tyler Oakley

Education and stigma

Searching for safe space